| BIG boy bath time |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|12:05 pm] |
The boys took their first big boy baths last night. They dug it! I think next time I'll make the water a touch deeper so they can reach it better with their hands.
Miss Kate you MUST come see them soon!!! Before they are 1 at least. I'd love for you to visit when they're still able to be carried easily. |
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| nothing is easy |
[Jun. 28th, 2009|09:56 pm] |
I think I'd like to write and illustrate a children's book
I've been writing out a list of things I'd like to write about
and hand wrote some fals starts to toy with style etc
I've got some brushing up to do!
I'd like to write silly books like one I've got here for the boys
but I don't want to bite anyone's style or even the type of book
just the way they make me feel really
today we went out with the boys & pup for a walk
grocery shopping
I made a sweet onion and garlic pizza
and a slightly less awesome salad
we had a big breakfast I made
while he did all the dishes
the boys have been staying up later
which is good and bad
bad in that they don't fall asleep earlier
and leave me alone time to do stuff
but good in that they sleep a little later in the morning
especially because our morning naps have been shooort
I think I'm going to try and get em both
to sleep while watching a movie
off to watch the man who knew too much with peter lorre |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2009|09:50 am] |
I've been reading LJ lately but not posting
I'm on facebook now but I don't feel
the urge to write there much either
right now my life is merely living
trying to get some sleep
enjoying my tattoo work
watching Dark Shadows every night with the hub
getting slowly back into cooking
and wishing we 4 could head outta town
just once this summer
to quickly summarize my life I'll
present to you my current shopping list:
covered diaper pail
pooper scooper
bee spray
spray foam
pretty exciting stuff
my phone died and an awesome client
gave me his old one
so that's back in order
but I lost some cool pics
I'm back to brown hair
so I can let it be
not really into the maintenence
involved in being blond apparently
and I think I'll ignore my hair
save the bangs and spit curls for a bit
see what happens
need to start a drawing
but my reference material is downstairs
and the hub is at work til noon
damn
the beebees didn't give me a nap this morning
so I'm vury tired |
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| personalities at 8mo |
[Jun. 18th, 2009|10:06 am] |
I thought it might be nice to mention here
that the boys personalities are so very different
and note a few things
to see if they become life long traits
Edgar is mommy centric and has abandonment issues
he loves to eat anything and lots of it
we call him kickin chicken
because he kicks his rt leg
hard and fast and frequently
he is stout and sturdily built
he's got a good sense of humor
and is ticklish almost everyhwere
and is still pretty bald/peachfuzzy
Cecil is the quiet thinker so it seems
he is a picky eater and is already
wanting to drink from a glass
he's not so sensitive when I leave the room
but if he bonks his head even a little
is big with the cries
he's a toy stealer and though
I've seen Edgar do the same
it's not as frequent
he seems the problem solver
he's more slight than Edgar
owing to his lack of a matched appetite
and has very red hair and more of it than E
On the whole I think they are both
very sweet little fellahs
who, so far, play fairly well together
but need personal space away from eachother
and both become jealous
when I attend to the other
unless they are fixed in play |
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| sleep? |
[Jun. 18th, 2009|10:01 am] |
The hubby and I have been
cosleeping with the boys for months
we never intended to cosleep but it happened
and now the hub wants to stop
I'm all for it if only
it didn't mean that I get
1/2 as much sleep as I was getting
which is not nearly enough as it is
last night we put the boys back in their crib
everytime we got them to go back to sleep
and then with feeding them alternately
as they woke up it was WAY more exhausting
than anything else
and now the boys aren't wanting a morning nap
which is soemthing I count on for my sanity
they got us up at 7am
and though there have been lots of fits
and signs of sleepy nobody will break down and nap
I tried but it was tears, fussiness and then play
I have tattoos tonight, fri, sat and sun
I tattooed twice tes and then 3hrs yesterday
by sunday I'm going to be fried
thank goodness that my neuma parts arrived yesterday
now my machine runs like a dream
and it's much quieter
with much less vibration
at least I can enjoy that
well ant the actual tattoo sessions
I'm just beat |
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| the litany of things |
[Jun. 12th, 2009|08:47 am] |
the boys are now eating rice cereal when I have a chance.
this is awesome because it can keep their hunger at bay for quite a bit.
last night I tattooed for 3hrs and the boys didn't ask Josh for food at all and I could breastfeed as soon as I came back.
Rock
Motor has been sick.
it's been a major trial
and a lot of money
but I loves him so that's that
he's my baby and my responsibility
yesterday I was supposed to get him to pee in the litterbox in the bathroom by closing him up there but he would not
so today he goes back ot the vet to have his urine extracted
this is not my favorite option
I'm really sailing on Tony's chest piece
and it's looking great
but we don't ahve plans beyond that at this point
how terrifying!
Jacob's horror sleeve will be coming to a close by the end of the month
his family lives here but he's been going to school in dekalb and driving in for work
he says that he'll never go to another tattoo artist and is about to move to boston
so he plans on getting work every time he comes in to town for family things
how sweet
hope it's true
he's a grrrreat client!
I want to do so much
but never seem to have the energy
the boys keep me up a LOT and I think it's taking its toll on my brain
my word recall is even worse than it already was
right now edgar is trying to eat cecil's head
cecil is ignoring him and playing with a box
my boys so silly
I'm dreadfully sleepy but get no morning nap because I have to get the cat to the vet this morning
tomorrow is another day
but today is not yet a wash |
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| being an artist |
[Jun. 7th, 2009|10:05 pm] |
it means different things to people
and at different times of their lives
right now, for me, it's the work
and the work I'd like to do in the future
due to time constraints with the twins
it's tattooing and occasionally design
my inner artist does not need
an umbrella, a tutu, a tiara or a cigar
at least not today
today I am utility
plus art
maybe tomorrow I'll have time for
that something different
but I probably won't even care
I just want to do
and make
and be
I was never searching
so I don't appreciate the search
and can be harsh with those on it
because since I can remember
I did what I do and have been who I am
so here I sit
with nothing more to say about it
but a cat needs medicine
my belly needs an artificially sweetened cereal
and then my spinning brain needs rest |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2009|11:05 am] |
we are having to do a lot of supplementing these days
I'm afraid to get back on the motilium
cancer risks
not approved by the FDA risks
something else nagging at the back of my head
the boys are getting comfy with food
not really comfy
but better
I'm hoping that the fact
that my supply is not the best
could be supplanted by some foodstuffs
eventually this will be the case
ok off to feed them and me before an appt
may it all go well |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2009|05:46 pm] |
watching my sons struggle to find their way in their environment is a profound experience for me
I feel as though this struggle never ends from birth
I once asked my mom, "how did you learn to do everything?"
it seemed as though she was prepared for any situation
even when she was encountering something she'd never done before
she said that she learns as she goes and a person never knows how to do everything
everyone has to feel stupid or confused or uncertain sometimes
but then you know how to do it next time
and for the most part things are designed for most folks to accomplish with an average skill set
Cecil is trying to figure out the deal with the chair leg and body
he is perplexed that he cannot move it
and returns to his jungle playset for a while
where the set of rules and restrictions is familiar
only to return again and again
one day it will be a chair to him
I try to imagine a world of shapes, colors and textures without definition
but am gridlocked in my perception
with words, values and meanings for all the objects which surround me |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2009|11:18 am] |
the boys are getting active
it's awesome
but now we've gotta get a beebee fence
they can't even crawl
but they can roll across
the whole room in minutes
I need to get more physically active
I've given up on exercise
and I can tell it's rotting my brain
not feeling very creative
outside of tattooing
not having much energy
how weird is it
that you have to expend
a lot of energy
to get energy
but so it is |
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| unproductive |
[May. 31st, 2009|08:04 pm] |
Since having the kids I've been super busy
go figure
but I've been able to get artwork done
for tattoo clients
and when I was breastfeeding for longer
when they were tinier
I was embroidering a LOT
but now that there is more
time between feedings
it seems as though
I can't get anything done.
NO embroidery projects
no paintings
no drawings unless
it's for a client
and I HAVE to get it done
nothing
not even sewing projects
I guess I feel like I've got to
have an eye on them constantly
now that they can roll across the room
into danger
and I guess because of this
my mind is foggy
for projects
perhaps my brain is doing this
to protect me
because I can't accomplish much
it is saving me from the agony of trying
there's a ton to say about Motor
but I'm just happy to have him home for now
and hoping things will go well
it's been a long few weeks
for many reasons
I need to get up on a project
and do it |
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| motor boat |
[May. 28th, 2009|03:00 pm] |
Motor is going in to the vet today at 4:30
I'm very nervous about the appt
because he's lost a lot of weight
I know he's depressed
and I've been trying to give him extra snuggles
but he can't sleep inthe bed with us
so his main source of snuggles is lost
and I know it upsets him greatly
I've been trying tuna to cheer him up
and he seems to like it
and today we played
with a peice of balled up paper
I think I'm going to make
a chase the string toy
and see if I can't get him going
but in general it is very sad
and I think whatever the vet says
will make me cry
and I hate that
and I hate that Motor is 14yrs old
and sooooo skinny now
he's the best cat in the world
and was my #1 snuggler until we brought the boys home
but with cosleeping I can't trust
that he won't try to sleep on a boy
because he walks over them casually
when they play on the floor
and I had to teach him not to walk ON the boys
we're hoping to move the boys
to cribs in the next month
hopefully that will enable us to
open the bedroom door again
and Motor snuggles will resume
it's such a hard decision
to keep him out
off to make him a string toy
and see if he wants to play
and then offer tuna again |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2009|02:27 pm] |
I'll be getting my car fixed this Monday
central air in my living space the 8th
and more clients are calling/e-mailing
thank you universe
now I just need to draw a graffiti flower
when I'm not entirely sure what that means
because the flower type
needs to be kept in tact and recognizable
but it needs also to be stylized
I've got ideas
they just need to come together
wish my hub wasn't sick
I feel so bad for him
and can only give him food and help
to snuggle would involve
bringing the boys into it
and they're exhausting to him right now
off to draw
love drawing
would like to paint
but that's not for a bit
perhaps a long bit |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2009|07:47 am] |
sssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooo ttttiiiirrrrreeeeeeeeedddddd
Cecil decided that it was up
and at em time at 5:15am
I disagreed but lost
in a 2 to 1 vote
now I eagerly await nap time
and don't know exactly when it will strike
I said yesterday that I need more clients
and now I've got 3 e-mails about work
thank you universe
for listening
when I'm sure there are more
important voices out there in need
crying follows playtime
perhaps a nap approacheth! |
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| battlestations |
[May. 24th, 2009|10:40 am] |
both the boys are in their battlestations
that's what we call these chair/toyfest things
I'm sure there's a formal name
but I don't know it
designed and am going to order
1" buttons for the shop
to give out for free
had to resist the urge
to make one of them hot pink
still resisting
but don't know why
I've got tattoos sun,mon,tues,wed
that's awesome
possibly fri as well
we need to have a huge sale
to empty out the thrift store
I want the building to be clear
of all this rubble
it's everywhere
I've also been thinking heavily
about becoming a surrogate
so that I can make enough money
to pay off the building
I don't think I'd make all of it
but with other savings we could
do it in a couple years
as opposed to 7-10
I liked being pregnant
there was a ton of suck
but in general I dug it
I would be doing it for the boys
so they always have a place
no matter what happens
in our lives financially
but it's a big thing
I don't take lightly
so I'm still thinking
the hubby is sick
he had a dreadful fever last night
got what I had but no sore throat yet
the painkillers seemed to reduce the fever
so I've let him sleep all morning
and I'm gonna get him up for food
in 10min because he's gotta watch the boys
while I tattoo this afternoon
I had to watch the boys alone
2 nights in a row while very ill
so he could go to band practice
so I don't feel too horrible
about having him watch them
we all have to buck up sometimes
wish I had a clue what to do with my hair
it's super short right now
so there's nothing TO do
but I don't feel cute at all
it happens
the lack of sleep
and general unconcern for my appearance
also makes me feel not so hot
oh well
I have better things to do than dwell
hubby wake up time! I'm hungry
and need a shower
so I best get to it...
PS for all the new star trek haters out there
you have a rather narrow view of time
if this movie really kills
the rest of the other movies for you |
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| sick & sign |
[May. 20th, 2009|10:40 am] |
I've been very sick
getting better now
on antibiotics
and they gave me something to avoid thrush
had a 103 fever
that sucks bigtime
chilled to the bone
shivering in a boiling shower
afraid to turn the water off
but it's getting better
slowly
wish it were faster
had to cancel 3 tattoo appts so far
hoping to get to keep my evening tomorrow
we'll see
today I'm taking care of the babes
the Madre is coming over
and we're going to give everyone baths
I think I'm going to invest
in a sign language dictionary today
the boys know milk now
and I'm working on change,
mother, father, play and up
it's so exciting to be able
to communicate clearly like this
they can't sign anything yet
they're still too floppy and sillybodied
but knowing the signs and calming down
or getting excited
when I sign milk is perfect for now
BOY I miseed playing with them and holding them
when I was REALLY dog sick |
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| changing everything |
[May. 6th, 2009|09:16 am] |
Dad and I put a new floor and trim
in my tattoo room in a matter of hours
yesterday morning
I skipped my nap with the boys
and am still feeling it
well they also got us up
at 6am so that doesn't help
it made me want to redo
the kitchem with the same stuff
it was SO easy
I've got loads of happyfuntattoo work this week
that's delightful
I think I'm going to not book Fri
so we can go see the new star trek
I'm not so sure
it looks awful hip and pretty
I want to completely rearrange the building
when I got pregnant everything had to be moved
to finish the rooms we needed for the boys
now we've got messes
in every room we don't use every day
I've got a plan but it's going
to have to be a slow process
a few bags and things here
and there until it's done
I think my plan will also allow me
to get rid of tons of stuff
I own too much
I want all our space to make sense
everything to have a home
digging through my summer clothes
deciding what will allow me to breastfeed
and what will get in the way
found my pre-preg undies!
yay-men
I have quite a few shirts that aren't baggy
or long though that might have to
go back in storage until I
reassess my figure next year
this year I need to lose 10lbs
but can't diet because I'm breastfeeding
and am struggling with that enough
I don't need to add worry over enough food to it
it seems my journal has gotten rather boring
I apologize
this first year will be that way
not that everything gets magically easier
but it should let up a bit
speaking of which
I found a dress I want to make into a skirt
and I should be doing that right now!
so I'm going to go look for elastic
and if I can find some
it's skirtmakingtime. |
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| Breastfeeding ugh |
[Apr. 27th, 2009|04:08 pm] |
Things have gone south again
my Canadian medicine is waiting
at the post office to be picked up
tomorrow that will happen
and I'll start that all over again
but I don't think you're supposed
to stay on it the entire time
so I'll have 8-10wks of gooed milk again
and then I bet it dropps off
this is hard
I love breastfeeding
but have had to start supplementing
more than I'd even expect
in the past few days
probably a growth spurt
but my production can't keep up
frustrating to keep giving them small bottles
and they keep crying for more
so more they get
but then they go longer between feeding
which tells my body to produce less
I know what the breastfeeding commty would say
so I'm not going to bother
I'll do my best and hope for more |
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